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The Day of the Resurrection (Journal Entry: 1 April 2018)

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The Day’s First Light

“Midway upon the journey of our life, I found myself within a forest dark, for the straightforward pathway had been lost.”  ~ Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy

This morning while doing some reading I stumbled upon the above quote and it could not have been more appropriate, and this, I suppose, can be interpreted in a number of ways. While I woke in a dark place today I also find inspiration in the darkness, but I’m jumping ahead.

Today is Easter morning, the celebration of the resurrection, a celebration of all that is light and hope. But I woke to internal darkness. It wasn’t sudden, it’s been stalking me for a while. I could feel it, sense it, see it lurking behind corners just behind me. Then like a thief in the night it engulfed me. This is not to say that I am in despair, as I have been before, just like so many others. I can still see the light, and know that the light is achievable, it’s just that it is in the distance, slightly out of reach.

The darkness, which can take many forms, has been a mild feeling of uncertainty for a while…weeks or months, I can’t recall. But now it is time to grab hold of certainty. As a natural observer and creatively inclined, it’s easy for me to see things then capture them in a photo, or words, or a drawing, but at the same time it is difficulty to observe myself. Not just my physical actions but internally as well, and that’s where things begin, on the inside.

There are some changes that need to take place in my life, which I am aware of, and that can only happen from the inside out through introspection first, then action. Easter is the day of resurrection, a day of hope and rebirth, thus it is also a good day to begin again, and likely tomorrow begin again, and then again. The light is within reach, and the darkness cannot overcome it. Now it’s up to me to reach for it.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” ~ Romans 12:2

Fifty Six Autumns…

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“Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.”

~Albert Camus

Fifty Six Autumns.

That’s how many I’ve seen. Of course I don’t remember them all, especially the earliest ones. But it was on this day fifty six years ago that I came into the world, whether I wanted to or not. Though if I am to believe the mystics (and I do), it was my choice to enter into this particular life…this time, my family, the circumstances that make up my life. All of it. And it’s interesting to think how at the turn of a new year—which for many can be an introspective time—we do it collectively. Though a birthday, which for me is also introspective, is done at a personal level, or usually with just a few. At a new year many people make resolutions, myself included, and most are unsustainable. I also do this at birthdays, but rather than calling them resolutions, which sounds so formal, I refer to them as goals. While still rather lofty, they seem more attainable. But if I stumble, that’s okay, too. I’ll begin again, that’s all I can do. And that is actually my first goal for this next birthday year…to go easy on myself; cut myself some slack. Here’s a few others that come to mind, in no particular order…

Attend church regularly.

Meditate daily (if even for just a few minutes) .

Pray often (be grateful and in the moment).

Blog, journal, and write more.

Facebook less.

Do more push-ups.

Practice simple yoga (stretch!)

Reduce expenses.

Care more.

Connect.

Do more art.

I could go on, but this is a good start. It’s a fluid list. If I do all or at least some of these things even somewhat regularly I truly believe that I will continue to grow and be a better person, which will naturally lead to being of greater service in this world. Thank you for letting me be part of yours. Now to get started…